SIDE 1

HONG

(with quiet dignity)
Tradition is much like a mountainside. Move one rock and you might create an avalanche.

(MULAN runs across the stage brandishing her dragon pole and practicing her war yell. In her excitement she knocks everyone over.)

ALL

Mulan!!!

ZHANG

Mushu! Mushu! Awaken!

(MUSHU enters, half-asleep.)

MUSHU

What did I miss? Am I late? Am I early?

LIN

Early? Huh! I don't believe that I have ever heard the words "Mushu" and "early" in the same sentence.

LAOZI

Today is the day that Mulan meets the Matchmaker. How do you expect to get back into the Temple if you don't pay attention?

MUSHU

So I guess that this means that I'm still on probation?

ANCESTORS

Yes!

MUSHU

Still not allowed back up on my Guardian pedestal? Back in the Temple?

ANCESTORS

No!

MUSHU

A dragon makes one mistake. One tiny mistake...

HONG

A mistake involving Confucius...

YUN

... a silkworm...

LIN

... and the near downfall of a dynasty!

MUSHU

You know some Ancestors might just forgive and forget, but not you people. You stay all high and mighty up in your fancy Temple, while I'm stuck down here on earth doing your dirty work...

ZHANG

Mushu! Silence!

(The ANCESTORS stand together. MUSHU stands apart and below them.)

LAOZI

We ask that the heavens guide us, just as we guide Mulan on this important day.

MUSHU

Someday I'll be back up on my pedestal. Someday, somebody is gonna need Mushu for something more important.

(beat)

Someday.

(MUSHU strikes the tam-tam.)

SIDE 2

YUN

This is no time to argue. If they discover that Mulan is a girl, the punishment is death.

MUSHU

For impersonating a man?

LIN

Yes, that is the law. And if Mulan dies...

LAOZI

It would be the end of the Fa family.

HONG

Someone must go and bring Mulan back to safety.

MUSHU

I'll go!

ZHANG

(ignoring him)
But who? Although we Ancestors can see far, we cannot leave the sanctity of the Temple.

MUSHU

I'm not an Ancestor! I'm a dragon! Let me go!

LIN

Quiet, Mushu. This is serious.

MUSHU

I know it's serious! Who is the only non-Ancestor here? Who can walk the earth, and do the dirty work for you? Maybe a...

ZHANG

... lowly gong banger?

YUN

A former Guardian who has been cast out of the Temple in disgrace?

HONG

For making a terrible mistake involving Confucious, a silkworm and...

ANCESTORS

... the near downfall of a dynasty?

MUSHU

And Mushu was his name-o!

LIN

Impertinent mascot.

MUSHU

I just want a chance to earn my way back in the Temple this is where I belong. Let me help Mulan.

LAOZI

Unfortunately, Mushu is our only hope.

HONG

There is no one else who can save Mulan.

(The ANCESTORS reluctantly nod in agreement.)

YUN

Go! Go and bring back our Mulan!

MUSHU

Wow! Thank you! This just proves how much you believe in me!

LIN

Actually, this just proves how desperate we are.

ZHANG

Mulan's future now rests with you.

HONG

As does the destiny of the Fa family.

(The ANCESTORS retreat.)

MUSHU

(calling after them)
Don't you worry about a thing! Just save a place for me between Strength and Honor! Love and Destiny! Between Hot and Stuff!

(A confident MUSHU leaves the Temple.)

SIDE 3

(Wu Zhong Camp. MULAN practices her manly stance.)

MULAN

(faking a man's voice)
So this is the Wu Zhong Camp? I love it. It's filled with men. Like me. So, where would a manly man like myself sign on for the manly aaa- (voice cracks) -aaarmy?! Oh, who am I kidding? It's gonna take a miracle to get me into the army.

MUSHU

Did I hear someone ask for a "miracle"?!?

(MUSHU stands on the rock.)

MULAN

What's going on? Who are you?

(MULAN grabs her sword.)

MUSHU

Get ready, Mulan, your serpentine salvation is at hand.

MULAN

How did you know I was here?

MUSHU

I have been sent by your Ancestors... to guide you through your masquerade. So heed my words, because if the Army finds out you're a girl, the penalty is death! I am the powerful, the pleasurable, the indestructible: Mushu!

(MUSHU loses his balance and falls off the rock.)

MULAN

You don't look very powerful or indestructible. You look like a little lizard. Why would my Ancestors send a lizard to protect me?

MUSHU

Well... they didn't have much choice. But that's another story. And I'm not a lizard! I'm a fire-breathing dragon. Watch this...

(attempts a breath of fire, nothing happens)

Hey, no fire.

(laughs nervously)

That's never happened to me before. Let me just try that again.

(tries again, fails)

Hmmm. My tonsils must be damp or something.

MULAN

Listen, thanks for the offer. But I think I'll be better off on my own.

MUSHU

Did you miss the "penalty is death" part?

MULAN

Mushu, lets face it, I'm hopeless. If I'm going to fail, I might as well fail on my own.

MUSHU

"Fail"? Not while I'm here! There's a hero in there somewhere. We just have to make you look on the outside like you do on the inside.

SIDE 4

SHANG

You saved my life. Now I will spare yours.

(turning his back on MULAN, to SOLDIERS)

Move out!

(The SOLDIERS begin to march out.)

CHI FU

(to MULAN)
A woman in a man's world destroys tradition. You are a dishonor to us all.

(The SOLDIERS exit, leaving MULAN alone with MUSHU.)

MULAN

What does it matter if I m a girl? Isn t what I can do more important that what I look like?

MUSHU

I was this close  this close  to impressing the Ancestors and getting back into the Temple. But they were right. All I m good for is banging a gong.

MULAN

I should have never left home.

MUSHU

Hey, c mon. You went to save your father s life. Who knew you d end up shaming him, disgracing your Ancestors, and losing all your friends?

MULAN

Maybe I didn t go just for my father. Maybe what I really wanted was to prove I could do something right. To know that I could be more than just someone s daughter or someone s wife. So when I looked in the mirror&

(MULAN picks up her helmet and looks at her reflection. The ANCESTORS appear behind MULAN.)

SIDE 5

MULAN

I see nothing.

(MUSHU takes the helmet from MULAN.)

MUSHU

Now that s just because this needs a little spit, that s all. Let me shine this up for you.

(MUSHU spits on the helmet, polishes it, and then holds it up to MULAN.)

I can see you. Look at you, you look so pretty.

(MULAN turns away. MUSHU looks at himself in the helmet.)

MUSHU

The truth is, we re both frauds. Your Ancestors only sent me because they had no other choice. They don t even like me. I don t deserve a place between Love and Honor  I deserve a place between Liar and Loser.

MULAN

I guess we both failed.

MUSHU

But you risked your life to help people you love. I risked your life to help myself.

MULAN

Well, I ll have to face my father sooner or later. Let s just go home.

(Suddenly, there is a movement from under the snow.)

MUSHU

Oh no! Is that an earthquake? I m not ready for another act of nature.

MULAN

No. It s worse than an earthquake. It s Shan-Yu. Stay down.

(MULAN and MUSHU hide, just as SHAN-YU, MAGYAR and SUBAR-TU pop out from under the snow.)

SHAN-YU

Do they really believe that they can conquer the Hun Army? On! On to the Imperial City! The Emperor and all of China will now know what it means to anger Shan-Yu!

(The ENSEMBLE provides war sounds. The HUNS run offstage.)

MUSHU

Did you see that? Those are some scary Huns.

(MULAN scrambles and begins to follow the HUNS. MUSHU points in the opposite direction.)

Uh, home is that way!

MULAN

Not for me!