Script

SIDE 1

It's just... well, I've never actually spoken to an Alley Cat before.
 

What's wrong with Alley Cats?
 

Don't you steal your food from garbage cans?
 

So what? I never took nothing from someone who would miss it. You know, not all cats get their meals on a silver platter.
 

Is it my fault that I have an owner who loves me and takes care of me?
 

If she takes such great care of you, why don't you ask her for help.

(O'MALLEY turns away.)
 

Wait! I'm sorry. That was very rude of me. Can we start again? My name is Duchess.
 

Duchess... beautiful!
 

And who are you?
 

Who am I? Who am I?

(calling offstage)
Boys

(The ALLEY CATS enter.)
 

SIDE 2

Mama, mama! I sang with an Alley Cat! He was nice.
 

I'm as tough as any old Alley Cat. Meow-fft!
 

Woh, tiger!
 

Can I ride on your back, Mr. Abraham deLacy Giuseppe Casey Thomas O'Malley?
 

(to DUCHESS)
Wait a minute. Do all these belong to you?

 

 

Yes, they are my Kittens: Marie, Toulouse and Berlioz. Can you help us get back to Paris?

 

 

 

 

Kittens! Heh heh, I would love to take you all to Paris but I... I...

 

 

 

 

(sighs, disappointed)
We understand. Thank you for the song, Mr. O'Malley. Come on, Kittens.

(The ARISTOCATS turn away.)

 

 

 

 

Good move, O'Malley. You don't need that kind of trouble.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, snooty Aristocats - who needs 'em?

 

 

 

 

Let's get outta here!

 

 

 

 

Crazy, man - crazy!

(The ALLEY CATS exit.)

 

 

 

 

You know what, O'Malley? You're not a cat; you're a rat. So what if they're Aristocats. A cat in need is a cat in need and that's that!

(to the ARISTOCATS)
You know, you're walking in the wrong direction, Duchess.

 

 

 

 

We are?

 

 

 

 

(pointing)
Paris is that-a-way. And you're never going to find it without a first-class tough Alley Cat leading the way.

 

 

 

 

I'm tough, too. Meow-fft! Meow-fft!

 

 

 

 

Hey, you're all right, tiger.

 

 

 

 

Oh, thank you, Mr. O'Malley. Madame must be very worried.

 

 

 

 

Madame? You want to get back to Paris to be with a human? Humans would just as soon throw old shoes at you as pet you!

 

 

 

 

Oh no, Madame is not like that at all.

 

 

 

 

Well, then she's not like any human I've ever met.

 

 

 

 

I bet she's like you, Mr. O'Malley. You're a hero!

(MARIE bats her eyes.)

 

 

 

 

Now, Marie...

 

 

 

 

Hey! If we're going to get ourselves to Paris, we better et moving. Line up!

(MARIE pushes to the front of the ARISTOCAT line.)

 

 

 

 

Hey!

 

 

 

 

Ladies first.

(O'MALLEY move TOULOUSE to the back of the line.)