Audition Central: Fiddler on the Roof JR.

Script: Perchik

SIDE 1

PERCHIK

Good Sabbath, sir.
 

TEVYE

(Introducing himself to PERCHIK)
Tevye. And Good Sabbath to you, Reb...

PERCHIK

Perchik.

TEVYE

Perchik. You're a newcomer here. As Abraham said, "I am a stranger in a strange land."

PERCHIK

Moses said that.

TEVYE

Forgive me. As King David put it, "I am slow of speech and slow of tongue."

PERCHIK

That was also Moses.

TEVYE

For a man with a slow tongue, he talked a lot. And where are you from?

PERCHIK

Kiev... I was a student in the University there.

TEVYE

So what's the news from the outside world?

PERCHIK

Terrible.

TEVYE

How terrible?

PERCHIK

In a village called Rajanka, all the Jews were evicted, forced to leave their homes...

TEVYE

For what reason?

PERCHIK

Maybe the Tsar wanted their land... maybe a plague...

(TEVYE notices that PERCHIK is eyeing the cheese hungrily)

TEVYE

Here, have a piece.

PERCHIK

Thank you, but I have no money.

TEVYE

It's a blessing for me to give. It's no crime to be poor.

PERCHIK

It's the rich who are the criminals. Some day their wealth will be ours.

TEVYE

That would be nice. If they would agree, I would agree. But until that golden day comes, Reb Perchik, how will you live?

PERCHIK

By giving lessons. Do you have children?

TEVYE

Five daughters.

PERCHIK

Five?

TEVYE

Daughters.

PERCHIK

Girls should learn too. Girls are people.

TEVYE

A radical!

PERCHIK

I would be willing to teach them. Open their minds to great thoughts.

TEVYE

I am a very poor man. Food for lessons?

(PERCHIK nods)

Good. Stay with us for the Sabbath.

PERCHIK

Good Sabbath, Reb Tevye.

SIDE 2

(Outside TEVYE'S house. PERCHIK is teaching CHAVA, HODEL, SHPRINTZE and BIELKE while they peel potatoes at a bench)

PERCHIK

Now, children, I will tell you the story from the Bible of how Laban cheated Jacob who worked for him. It will show that the Bible clearly teaches ... You can never trust an employer ... Understand?

(THEY nod)

GOLDE

(ENTERING from the barn)
Papa isn't up yet?

HODEL

No, Mama.

GOLDE

Enough lessons. We have to do Papa's work today. He staggered home last night and fell into bed like a dead man. I couldn't get a word out of him. Put that away and clean the barn.

(SHPRINTZE and BIELKE EXIT into the barn. To HODEL)

Call me when Papa gets up.

(EXITS)

HODEL

That was a very interesting lesson, Perchik.

PERCHIK

Thank you.

HODEL

But I don't think the Rabbi would agree with your strange ideas.

PERCHIK

Certainly! Any new idea would be strange to you. Remember, the Lord said: Let there be light.

HODEL

Yes. But he was not talking to you personally ... Good day.

PERCHIK

You have spirit. Even a little intelligence perhaps.

HODEL

Thank you.

PERCHIK

And you are very brave. Do you know that in the city boys and girls can hold hands together, they even dance together - new dances - like this.

(HE seizes her and starts dancing, humming)

I learned it in Kiev. Do you like it?

HODEL

(Startled)
It's very nice.

PERCHIK

(Stops dancing)
There. We've just changed an old custom.

HODEL

(Bewildered)
Yes. Well, you're welcome - I mean, thank you - I mean, good day.

PERCHIK

Good day.