Script
Audition Central: Shrek The Musical JR.
Script: Dwarf
SIDE 1
FARQUAAD
Boooooooooooooooooo!
(turns to FIONA)
Are we ready, darling?
FIONA
I can t.
(FIONA rushes off.)
PINOCCHIO
That s it! We ve taken your abuse for the last time, Farquaad!
BABY BEAR
Well no more!
WITCH
It ebds today!
PIG #1
Power to zee piggies!
MAMA BEAR
We demand our homes back!
PINOCCHIO
And our rightful place in Duloc! Right guys?
FAIRY TALE CREATURES
(ad libbed)
This guy is a sham! He ll pay! Up with fairies! Power to the cookies! (etc.)
FARQUAAD
It ll be a dark day before I let you freaks ruin my wedding!
PINOCCHIO
Freaks, eh? Well, I guess it takes one to know one.
FARQUAAD
What?
PINOCCHIO
Be prepared to have your mind blown.
(PINOCCHIO gestures. The FAIRY TALE CREATURES part, and a very grumpy DWARF steps forward.)
DWARF
Hiiiiii-hoooooooh!
FARQUAAD
(reels a bit)
Daddy?
(The CROWD gasps.)
DWARF
I suppose my invitation was lost in the mail?
FARQUAAD
Well maybe if you hadn t abandoned me in the woods!
DWARF
Abandoned you? You were twenty-eight, and living in my basement!
PINOCCHIO
People of Duloc, your leader if a Halfling!
MAMA BEAR
Which is a lovely thing to be!
FARQUAAD
(tantrum)
I m a king! I m a big man! A big tall giant man with a kingdom!
Not-a-freak! Not-a-freak! I have a castle!
FIONA
(enters with a lantern, which illuminates her face)
Stop the wedding!