Script

Audition Central: Legally Blonde JR.

Script: Professor Callahan

SIDE 1

CALLAHAN

Emmett, let me be very clear. This is your chance, and I gave you simple instructions- Lead this legal team and get me an alibi. You're zero for two.

(CALLAHAN and EMMETT approach the remaining interns.)

Everyone, field trip's over. Let's go. Back to work.

(turning to EMMETT and ELLE)

Except you two. I'd rather not see "Ratty Corduroy" or "Legally Blonde" again today.

(EMMETT and ELLE are left alone.)

ELLE

Emmett, I'm sorry-

EMMETT

-I don't need you to be sorry. I need you to tell me the alibi.

ELLE

I can't because I gave Brooke my word. Having an alibi isn't the only way to win this case.

EMMETT

No, but it sure would help.

ELLE

We'll free Brooke the right way. The noble way.

EMMETT

This isn't a Lifetime Original Movie, Elle. I'm not interested in nobility right now, I'm more interested in saving Brooke's life.

ELLE

No you're not. You're more interested in impressing Callahan.

EMMETT

Well, he is my boss. And if I impress him he'll make me associate.

ELLE

And jeopardize your client's trust and our integrity?

EMMETT

Why do you always have to be right?

ELLE

I don't have to be... when I'm with you, I just am.

SIDE 2

VIVIENNE

All that pink you're wearing. Is that even legal?

ELLE

Pink's my signature color.

VIVIENNE

So I gathered.

EMMETT

Callahan should be here any second. Three years ago I was sitting right where you're sitting and I'd heard the same rumors I'm sure you've heard too. Callahan's ruthless. What you really need to know is-

(EMMETT falls silent as CALLAHAN enters.)

CALLAHAN

-You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be used against you.

(The CLASS sits up straight to listen.)

When you choose a career in law you're bound to hear that "a lawyer is a shark." Ignore that. It's simplistic and it's stupid. Only some of you will turn out sharks. The rest...are chum.

(No reaction from the CLASS.)

What's my point? I'll tell you. From this class I will hire four young sharks to work at my billion-dollar law firm. As interns. For me. Virtually guaranteeing a career. Provided you can survive.

(CALLAHAN notices ELLE in the front row.)

Now, Ms...?

ELLE

(brightly)

Woods. Elle Woods.

CALLAHAN

Someone's had their morning coffee. Would you summarize the case of State of Indiana v. Hearne from your reading, please.

ELLE

Okay, who assigns reading for the first day of class?