Script

ALADDIN

Sure is dark in here. Wish I had some light, then I could dig my way out. Hey, what about this lamp? Couldn't hurt, right?
(ALADDIN rubs the lamp, which starts to glow and shake. He puts it down and backs away in awe as the JUNIOR DJINN wildly prepare for the arrival of... the GENIE, a high-speed ball of magical possibilities.)

GENIE

(like a fabulous lounge singer)
Thank you, thank you very much. Boy it's good to be back. Let me tell you, seven-hundred years inside a lamp can give you such a crick in the neck!
(to ALADDIN, pointing a "mic" in his face)
Hi, here on business? Having a good time? Where you from? Waiter, another bowl of hummus for table number two, compliments of Mr. Lucky!
(ALADDIN just stares, dumbfounded)
So what's your name - no, wait, don't tell me, let me guess. Sinbad? Hercules? Bruce? Come on, kid, work with me here - people are watching.

ALADDIN

Al -- Aladdin.

GENIE

Nice to meet you, Al Aladdin. Gee, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Or maybe it's me, tell me the truth: do these earrings make me look fat?

ALADDIN

Wait a minute. You mean, I'm your master?

GENIE

Ladies and gentlemen, he can be taught! Yep, I'm a slave to the master of the lamp. So what would you wish of me, oh master mine?
(nothing)
That's your cue, Al.
(to the Audience)
Ha ha, it's like pulling teeth here, folks.

ALADDIN

Uhm, you mean, I get a wish?

GENIE

Three, count 'em, three! No substitutions, exchanges or refunds!

ALADDIN

Now I know I'm dreaming!
(The GENIE gives ALADDIN an owner's manual.)

GENIE

Master, read this owner's manual while I blow the roof off this joint!
(to the conductor)
Maestro, give me four for nothing!