Script

Audition Central: Original - Disney's Alice in Wonderland JR.

Script: Mad Hatter

(The WHITE RABBIT enters, late as usual.)

MAD HATTER

Did you say you were late?

ALICE

Only seventy-six times. Not that anyone's counting.

WHITE RABBIT

(showing the MAD HATTER his pocket watch)

See?

MAD HATTER
Well, your watch is slow, silly. Here, let me fix it for you.

(The MAD HATTER grabs the watch and huddles over it with the PARTY GUESTS like surgeons over a patient. The CHESHIRE CAT makes the sound of a heart monitor beeping.)

(MAD HATTER)

Scalpel!

MARCH HARE

Scalpel!!

PARTY GUESTS

Scalpel!!!

MAD HATTER

Forceps!

MARCH HARE

Forceps!!

PARTY GUESTS

Forceps!!!

MAD HATTER

Axle grease!

MARCH HARE

Axle grease!!

PARTY GUESTS

Axle grease!!!

MAD HATTER

Peanut butter!

WHITE RABBIT

Peanut butter?!?

MARCH HARE

Crunchy or smooth?!

MAD HATTER

Hurry, we're losing her!!

WHITE RABBIT

Oh no no no!

MAD HATTER

Bring me the liverwurst!

MARCH HARE

The liverwurst!!

PARTY GUESTS

The liverwurst!!!

CHESHIRE CAT 1, 2, 3

(like Groucho Marx)

This is the worst liver I've ever seen!

MAD HATTER

(like a mad scientist)

Live. Live! I command you to live!!!

(The CHESHIRE CAT makes the flatline sound: The watch is dead!)

Oooops.

(to WHITE RABBIT)

You might want to get a new watch.

ALICE

(to MAD HATTER)

Oh no! You broke it!

MAD HATTER

I know! Wasn't it fun? Let's do it again!!

WHITE RABBIT

Oh nooo! Now I'll never get there on time!