Script

Mrs. Paroo, do you realize you have the facial characteristics of a cornet virtuoso?

I don't know if I understand you entirely, Professor.

If your boy has the same firm chin, and those splendid cheek muscles - By George! Not that he could ever be really great, you understand, but -

Oh, is that so. And in the name of St. Bridget, why not?

Well - you see all the really great cornet players were Irish - O' Clark, O' Mendez, O'Klein -

But Professor, we are Irish!

No! No! Really! That clinches it! Sign here, Mrs. Paroo. Your boy was born to play the cornet! Fine, fine. That will be seven dollars earnest money. Nothing more due until the first installment payable at opening of band practice. Oh thank you. And of course, I'll need the boy's measurements for his band uniform.

His uniform!

(WINTHROP peeks from behind Mrs. Paroo filled with excitement. HAROLD and MRS. PAROO are somewhat surprised)

Hello, son.

(Drawing an imaginary line down the outside of his leg)

Would it have& a& a& ?

A stripe? Certainly, my boy, a wide red stripe on each side. What do you think of that?

(WINTHROP drops his eyes suddenly and runs off)

You'll have to excuse Winthrop, Professor. We can't get him to say three words a day even to us. So if you get him to play in the band it will be a miracle. Where are you from, Professor?

Gary, Indiana. In fact, Gary Conservatory was my Alma Mater.

Was she now?

(Aware of MARIAN'S approach)

Gold Medal Class of '05. Hello, Miss Paroo.

(Entering the stage)

Mr. Hill.

He wants to put Winthrop in the band!

Do you burst in on everyone's home like this?

Marian!

We're not interested.

Now why not let the boy's father decide?

The boy's father is dead. Anything else?

(MARIAN EXITS into house)

Professor, I do hope you'll excuse Marian. She's not really -

Please. I'm sure that at heart she's as lovely as yourself. Good day to you, Mrs. Paroo.

(HAROLD exits)

Good day to you, Professor. Marian Paroo!

Has he gone?

I hope not forever. Darlin', don't you ever think of your future? Gary Indiana Conservation Class of ought 5-now darlin'--

Now mama, the fact that he claims his commodity is music does not, in this particular case, impress me.

All right, darlin' all right. Only it's a well-known principle that if you keep the flint in one drawer and the steel in another, you'll never strike much of a fire.

Mama! Winthrop! Winthrop I know you're there. Please go to the library and ask Miss Grubb to give you the book I set aside. It's the Indiana State Educational Journal 1890-1910. It's a large brown volume with black corners.

Do I hafta?

You won't have to talk to anyone. I've written it all down.

Now what are you up to? Why do you need books at this hour of the night?

I have a feeling the Indiana Journal may help me poke some large holes in the Professor's claims.